Divorce is a difficult process that requires you to adapt and change as your circumstances adapt and change. It is a time when you have to embrace how you are feeling and allow the situation to progress naturally. Recovering from divorce takes time and is going to look very different for everyone and their situation. 

Accept the Emotions 

Getting divorced is a messy process, no matter what factors contributed to the decision. It is a big change, and it will probably uproot many emotions you didn’t even realize you had. 

The last thing you want to do after a divorce is suppress your emotions and try to move on without allowing them to breathe. You need to accept these emotions and give them space to be felt before you move on. 

If these emotions come up after your divorce, they are most likely something you need to feel before you can let go of the relationship. This may look something like anger, grief, sadness, or fear. 

Confide in Loved Ones 

The worst thing you can do when you are going through a challenging time is to isolate yourself from the people who love you the most. It is easy to feel like this is the best option since your family and friends are most likely already worried about you. However, they want to be there for you and provide support as you adapt to this new phase in your life. 

Try to lean on family and friends and spend as much time with them as you can. If you have family or friends who have also gone through a divorce, this is even better since they will have been in your shoes to some extent. 

Something to remember is that you do not necessarily want to speak about your divorce to just anyone. There are plenty of people out there who may want to spread negativity or make you feel worse than you already do. Be very careful about who you confide in, and only make room for positive voices. 

Let Go of Negative Feelings 

Divorce is something that often comes out of necessity when your relationship is not healthy and isn’t benefiting you or the other person. This can result in a great deal of negative emotions, especially if the divorce was not initiated on the best of terms. As much as you need to feel these emotions and allow them to exist in the moment, you also need to let them go. 

Holding onto negative emotions will only do more harm than good if you cannot release them. You may feel anger, regret, or sadness right now, but you have to remember that this time will pass, and different things will be available in the future. Dwelling on what has happened will prevent you from fully embracing what could be. 

As easy as it is to say you need to let go of negative feelings, it is much harder to put this into practice. You can try to do this by removing items around you that bring up negative thoughts and emotions. Or you can journal your feelings or even write a letter that you either throw away or burn symbolically. 

Create Distance 

In some situations, the divorce may be relatively amicable, and you and your ex remain in contact. In situations where you have children, this is for the best and is usually going to be necessary. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay close in contact with the other person, especially directly after the divorce. 

During this time when your feelings are still fresh, it is much better if you can put as much distance between yourself and your ex as possible. Even if you want to remain friends, this is a time for healing and recovery, and their presence isn’t going to allow you to do that. 

A great way to create even more emotional distance is to refresh your living space to remove any memories. For instance, remove photos of the two of you as well as any items of theirs that you still have. You want to start with a fresh slate without any strings attached. 

Learn to be Alone 

A very significant part of your recovery after a divorce is going to be the adjustment period. Adjusting after divorce is a challenging process since you are most likely unfamiliar with being alone, which can enhance the negative emotions you may be feeling. This is part of why it is so crucial to reach out to loved ones so that some of your time is filled interacting with them. 

However, you do not want to simply cover up how you are feeling about being on your own. Being alone is not in itself a bad thing, and many people are able to thrive in this kind of situation. The last thing you want to do is to try to avoid being alone by reaching out to people who are not going to benefit you. 

Some healthy ways of coping with loneliness that you could try out include joining local programs or communities, getting a pet or spending more time with your current pet, and picking up more hobbies or skills. 

Seek Professional Help 

A very important aspect of recovering after a divorce is to seek professional help from a qualified therapist. Not only do you want to start spending time with a therapist, you want to make sure you look for a therapist who has specialized in divorce. Mental health is very complex, and it is always more beneficial if you can find a therapist who specializes in what you need. 

A divorce recovery therapist can provide a comforting presence in your life who is not a friend or family member. They are non-partial and can help you sort through complex emotions that you may not want to talk about with anyone else. They can also help you adapt to your new life and develop healthy ways of coping with your emotions. 

Conclusion 

No one plans on going through a divorce, but life happens, and sometimes, this is a necessity for you to move forward. Recovering from divorce can be a lengthy process, and it is going to look very different for everyone, which is why you have to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you are going through, and don’t hesitate to reach out to the people who love you for comfort and stability. 

Do you want to find a divorce therapist who can help you adjust to this life change? Contact us today at Harmony Bay Wellness to speak with one of our experienced divorce therapists.